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Since 1951, the hallowed corridors of IIT Kharagpur (IIT-K) and its sister institutes across India, have produced a crop of the best brains in the country — with intelligence that can rival the Jobs and Gates of the world and armed with pay packages that can give our Jatt boyz a run for their dowry. But behind the success stories of these nerds, geeks and techies, have lingered dark secrets — of long days wasted caressing machines, of lonely nights spent recalling how a real-woman-without-myopia looked like, and of hours exhausted devising mathematical formulae on ‘how to make eye-contact with the cute girl who visits the grocery store?’
If popular stories emanating from some of the best educational institutes in India like the IITs, IIMs and NITs are anything to go by, it won’t be too hard to believe that the skewed boy-to-girl ratio in these institutions has led to many a Devdas-in-the-making. “Even with your high profile IIT degree and your sky-high value in the marriage market, you are still stuck with one of the few girls from IIT, who in no way can be a 10-pointer on looks. That is seriously unfair,” Deepjyoti Deka, a B-tech from IIT Guwahati, sighs.
But now, three IIT-K graduates have taken upon themselves the task of alleviating the dire straits of their forlorn mates. In January this year, 22-year-olds Layak Singh, Kinshuk Bairagi and Nikhil Kaushik launched a social dating website called DateIITians that encourages IITians (primarily, and also those from IIMs, NITs, med schools and other geek-producing institutes) to explore ‘meaningful relationship’ opportunities among, well, lesser mortals.
The website was conceived three years ago, when the trio, still in the second year of their engineering, opted for an internship with an education consultancy company in Kolkata. “While mentoring IIT and IIM aspirants on how to crack the entrances, we came across many interesting (and interested) girls who we otherwise had no chance of meeting,” says Singh. A vision dawned on them — of a world where geeks and nerds can mingle freely, without hesitation and sans prescribed scientific dos and don’ts, with people from the opposite sex. Thus was born DateIITians.
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Three 22-year olds have launched a dating website called DateIITians that encourages IITians (primarily, and also med schools and other geek-producing institutes) to explore ‘meaningful relationship’ opportunities among, well, lesser mortals.
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After a registration process, followed by a three-step verification to limit fake profiles, a member can get access to network among peers, flirt with interested candidates, develop a crush and make a proposal. “Requests have to be sent on each step. A buddy request can be followed by a flirt request which can be a personal message or a gift,” Singh says. Gifts can be bought on the site itself through e-commerce and when flirting takes you to the stage where your heart starts fluttering, you can then send a crush request and take it further with a proposal. Singh says, “We are very strict about the content and hence filter all slangs and lewd comments by tracking messages with key-words.”
The website is currently in its alpha stage and new features are being planned for updates, including a 3D chat. “For a guy in a place like Kharagpur, to take a beautiful girl out on a date would mean travelling three hours to Kolkata,” Singh laughs. “So with 3D chat, people will have the option to go on virtual dates.” This means your online avatar can take your partner’s avatar to a cafe, watch a movie or play a game and if, science allows, part with a goodnight kiss.
DateIITians has drawn over 7,000 members in just over four months and has seen 1,100 flirt requests. But not every geek is excited about it. Bhargav, an MBA from XLRI says bitterly, “Sites like this won’t help. Women only like to live off us. Since, most of us are not well versed with the game of love, women leave us after they are done decorating themselves with our pay-cheques.” Deka has a simpler solution for it all, “Who needs a dating site? Take the help of your shining resume and the rich uncle in Bhatinda to find a girl along with some crores.”
This article was originally posted on http://www.sunday-guardian.com by SATARUPA PAUL 20th May
Should I get that cool, sexy tattoo on my body? How many times have we mulled over this single question but are stopped midway with thoughts like, “our parents would get a mild heart attack” or “it would pain a lot”. Tattoos are the “in” thing these days and are thought of as being cool and trendy. People have their own reasons for getting a tattoo, some do it to express their individuality, some do it for paying tribute to people while some get them for the sake of a wonderful memory which they want to keep close to their heart. Tattoo is a very personal decision, it would literally stay with you “forever” so “think well before you ink”. The first things that you need to know are the risks involved in getting a permanent tattoo.
The Risks
- Infection – Dirty needles can pass infections, like hepatitis and HIV, from one person to another.
- Allergies – Allergies to various ink pigments in both permanent and temporary tattoos have been reported and can cause problems.
- Scarring – Unwanted scar tissue may form when getting or removing a tattoo.
- Granulomas – These small knots or bumps may form around material that the body perceives as foreign, such as particles of tattoo pigment.
- MRI complications – People may have swelling or burning in the tattoo when they have magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). This happens rarely and does not last long.
Next, you need to find a good place about which you are sure about so that the above risks are minimized.
The most important decision is the quest for the perfect tattoo. Don’t just go for random designs that might look good, go for something that is meaningful and has a connection with you. Express something from your tattoo like a “live and let live” type of quote can be used to express your motto of life; a sketch of a Scorpio can be used to represent your zodiac sign etc.
There is a growing demand of tattoo quotes these days. They are better because they are more expressive and people can create their own quote. Choose a phrase which makes a statement not something as senseless as,” word sound power” You can even consider using a foreign language or foreign letters for your tattoo, this can make it even more interesting. Some Latin phrases are here for your help.
| Latin phrase | English meaning |
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I am not led, I lead |
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bold but faithful |
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I struggle and emerge |
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Know thyself |
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I came, I saw, I conquered |
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Words fly away, writings remain |
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Truth is my light |
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He conquers who conquers himself. |
If you are aware about the risks involved, the pain you would have to endure, the pocket money you would have to loose and your parent’s wrath and you still want that tattoo then you should go for it. Just take your decision wisely.
You are not a saint. You have told this yourself over and over again. After months of drooling over her, fantasizing, always turning up in the middle of her perfectly planned date, plotting to get the chance of dropping her home, taking advantage of every trivial argument to lead it to a break up, you are now gearing up to admit that you are in love with your best friends girlfriend.
Shit has happened!
Bur now what? You cannot possible tell your best friend. He will either kill you or leave the girl right away to make you feel terribly meagre. You cannot go and confess to the girl. You stand the chance of losing both your friend and the girl. Also you might not want to get into the melodrama and become a character straight out of a Hindi daily soaps.
There is nothing you can do. Trying to date your best friend’s girlfriend is like evading another tiger’s territory. You will either win or lose but both the catastrophes will come your way with loss and guilt. Do it only if you want to enduringly acquire the territory otherwise the effort will turn out to be worthless. Save this effort for something more prolific than this mere upsurge of adrenalin.
But wait; there are still things which you can do without harming the cat.
1. Continue to drool over her and keep dropping hints that you completely adore her. She will not leave your friend for you but you might get lucky for a coffee.
2. Plan a double date. You can ask your most entertaining friend to join you and keep your friend busy while you keep his girlfriend.
3. You can also make your friend a little more drunk than usual while you become the responsible guy next door who ends up driving her home.
4. On days when you have nothing better to do, you show up at her workplace and get your share of moments with her.
You may get several chances of being lucky while you try your hand with these tips. But you should never give in as no girl would be worth cheating your best friend.
Happy Dating!
– Written by: Bhawna Jaimini
How many times have we heard from couples living away from each other that, “long distance relationships are haaaard”. Many a times we ourselves have passed the judgment saying, “these kind of relationships don’t work”… of course they dont, nothing works on its own ….you are supposed to make it work. We all know that much ….but long distance relationships are not always bad or hard, they do have their share of benefits and funnily enough they might even seem a better option. Here are some things you should definitely appreciate and take advantage of when in such a relationship.
Your space is still your own: Your personal space is like a bubble surrounding you and you are bound to feel uncomfortable if someone is constantly trying to get in. True, your partner has a right to intrude but think again do you want his/her’s permission before taking every decision, you might want his/her’s opinion but not permission. In a long distance relationship, your personal bubble is still intact, you have your own time, you can pursue any opportunity and can freely use all your time for your interests.
Gives you time to think : A long distance relationship forces you to go slow in terms of physical intimacy and gives you time to think before you make major decisions. You have time to dwell on questions as to whether you really are ready for such commitment. Is he the right person? Is she worth the emotional pain and the long wait? Etc.
You can be filthy: This might sound funny but one of the biggest advantages you have is that you can be filthy. You can live without taking a bath for days, you don’t need to change your jeans every other day and you don’t have to go check your appearance every time you go out. In short, you can enjoy being untidy and messy without someone complaining, “Baby, why don’t you just go take a bath”
The joy of meeting: The anticipation, the excitement and finally the joy you feel when you see your sweetheart after such a long time. This feeling would never be known to the couples who live together and this is the very feeling which makes you sure about your choice and strengthens your bond.
Increases the value of a person : Spending time apart from someone shows you how much you really need them in your life.You talk more and kiss and cuddle less. At first, this might sound too bad but it might prove good in the long run. Since you communicate more you get to know the other person really well, you actually fall in love with his/her personality rather than appearance. Being away also increases the other’s value, haven’t we heard thatabsence makes the heart grow fonder.
No choice between friends and love : Majority of couples face this single problem, if your partner and you have different sets of friends the problem gets worsened, you can be trapped in situations when you have to choose among the two. But a long distance couple never faces this problem, when your boyfriend is in town your friends will be extra understanding since they know you rarely get a chance to meet him, while he would also encourage you to hang out more with your friends as it would be helpful to cope with the emotional trauma you feel once he’s gone.
You can indulge freely in some casual flirting without bothering about the other’s jealousy : This is truly the good part , you can sometimes indulge yourself in casual and healthy flirting just for fun without bothering about the other’s jealousy. This doesn’t mean that you have to be unfaithful to your significant other but a little flirting won’t hurt anyone and may even brighten your mood.
Saves money : You can save a lot of petrol and your hard earned pocket money…..but this can go the other way also, if you decide to travel a lot to see your sweetheart or decide to talk or text every other minute.
So next time someone says, “long distance relationships doesn’t work or are very hard”……just remember there are many benefits distance has to offer, grab them and let your love travel the distance. After all, “distance does not ruin people’s relationship, you don’t have to see someone daily to be in love”.
Dating: an event which can even make a very confident person to lose his cool and act like a school kid. What to say, when to speak and when to just shut up and listen, where to go for the date, how to make it exciting and adventurous, how to impress the other, what to wear and many other similar questions haunts you at every hour of the day and by the time the blessed moment arrives you’re totally nervous. Does the situation sound similar? Do all these remind you of your first date?
If yes and you have still got no answer to the million dollar question, “how to make your date a perfect one?”Let me tell you at the start there is no single set of rules which you need to follow to make your date a perfect one. The most important point to be kept in mind is that you should first get to know the other person, what does he/she likes, what is his idea of adventure, what is his idea of a perfect date, for someone it might be a candle light dinner in a posh restaurant but for some other it may be a pub or even an amusement park.
Respect the other’s wish and give it more importance than yours, it makes them feel special and lucky to have got a mate who is willing to sacrifice his preferences just for yours. You should choose a location very carefully, you need to make your date comfortable and the surroundings do play an important role.
Dress for the occasion: wearing shorts and a casual t-shirt for dinner in a restaurant is not a good idea, you might like those cool and comfortable shorts but keep in mind that you’re going out with a lady and should dress as per the occasion. Never make the other person feel embarrassed because of your poor dressing sense.
Always appear with a gift: you don’t need to buy an expensive one, just a bunch of flowers or some chocolates would do, but appearing with a small token of appreciation would surely earn you some brownie points.
Compliments and attention: Chris Rock, the famous comedian once said that any woman needs three things to survive oxygen, food and compliments. Well, this statement does has some truth. So make her feel comfortable and compliment her. Your compliments should never sound fake or too much stretced from the truth. Don’t just pay compliments like, you’re beautiful, tell her why is she so beautiful to you, tell her what do you specifically like about her but don’t overdo it, it may have the opposite effect. Every girl wants to feel special, tell her that she is different, try using adjectives like beautiful rather than hot or sexy.
As compliments are to girls similarly attention is to a guy. Listen to a guy, not just with your ears but with your expressions, your body language and actions. Be sympathetic. Appreciate him for his efforts, say how much you liked it, and he would love it.
Talk a lot: By talking a lot, I don’t mean mindless chatter or you telling your whole life history and the other one listening as if there is no other option. What I mean is be open, frank, don’t talk in monosyllables, try to include the other one. If your date is a bit shy and doesn’t speak much, start speaking and sharing, ask about his opinion so that he is bound to answer. Show interest and never be self absorbed.
Now you know, just put in that little extra and you can easily make your ordinary date an extraordinary one. The key is to make the other feel important and special. Let your special one know that you’re happy and there’s no place on earth you’d rather be than here.
With the internet being as big as the universe, more and more people are browsing through the galaxies of websites that offer online dating services. After all, everybody wants love, and if using technology is naturally happening in the rest of our lives, why not in love? In the recent years online dating has grown in a big way with India having 15 million takers of the online dating service. The busy lifestyle surely is attracting more and more people to find chemistry on the net but don’t you want to be sure that the cute 24-year-old guy is actually cute, is really 24 and most importantly is really a guy. While dating online, it is very important that you protect yourself and this can be easily done by following a few guidelines, trusting your instincts and using common sense. These are some tips that might come handy while you search for the magic online.
Choose a well-reputed site: The first thing that you need to take care of is to choose a site with a good reputation like dateiitians.com. You can check out the site and read its privacy policy and also browse through profiles and see whether they seem real or not. Choosing a good site is very important and considerably lowers the risks. You don’t want to be wooed by a rapist, serial killer or worst enough a married man looking for casual sex. And trust me these things do happen, just consider the widely reported case of Jeffrey Maralis, a serial rapist in Philadelphia who met his victims on Match.com.
Don’t provide personal information too soon: Information like your last name, address or phone number should never be disclosed on your profile. If you have developed a considerable degree of trust on the other person only then you should disclose personal information and then too be over-cautious. There’s no need to be paranoid about your privacy, but at the same time, it is wise to take simple precautions that will ensure you remain safe until you are completely comfortable.
Take it slow: Take your time, don’t be in too much of a rush to meet in person. If you are concerned the person in the photo is not who they say they are, ask them to take a quick digital shot holding that day’s newspaper. Use apps for background checks. You can also Google their user profile name. Many times people are on multiple dating sites and use the same profile name. If you find this is the case, ask the person if they are only on one dating site and see what they say. Look for inconsistencies and questionable characteristics in their communication.
Be ultra safe when meeting for the first time: There might be butterflies flying in our stomach and you may feel as if your heartbeat is beating as loud as a drum but amidst all these don’t forget that your safety should still be your first concern. These are some simple rules you should follow while meeting for the first time:
- Always meet in a populated public place and stay around public places.
- Travel there on your own – don’t accept a lift from your date.
- Do tell a friend or family member who you are meeting, where you are going and when you will be back.
- Stay sober.
- Take your mobile phone.
- Your personal belongings can be stolen. Your drink can be drugged. Don’t leave them unattended.
Trust your gut instinct: Lastly, if you ever feel that something’s wrong don’t disregard it coz you might just be right. Trust your gut instinct, it is the most powerful psychological tool you have at your disposal.
If you take these simple precautions internet can turn to be the most convenient and safest way to meet people. Best thing about it is, you can even flirt with a number of people at one time. Talk about multi-tasking:)keep an open mind, an open heart and most of all, your common sense with you and online dating can help you get your valentine.
In the matter of love, we Indians are taught from childhood that our parents would find a mate for us when the right time and age comes. Most of us have accepted this and don’t usually dare to go outside the accepted norms of society. While the scenario is slowly changing and we can see couples walking hand-in-hand in movie theatres and malls, online dating portals still remain a taboo. We are not afraid to chat on facebook with strangers but are afraid to join a dating website, we are not afraid to go on a date with a guy after meeting him only once but are afraid to go on a virtual date with a like-minded guy with whom we have been chatting for days. We are obsessed with the digital world and consider it as vital as oxygen but we still pull ourselves back when it comes to finding love online. Isn’t it hypocritical of us?
Why do we the “so called” well-educated and open-minded people consider dating online a taboo? In search for the answer, a survey was conducted and the opinion of the college going youngsters was sought. You might be shocked to hear their responses:
A guy has to say this, “Dating online is like paying for sex, you are filled with a sense of shame that you can’t find a person yourself and you need to pay for it.”
Another girl has to say, “I would never go for online dating, it’s cheap and it shows desperation.”
A guy from a premier law college says I would rather like to date a real person whom I can touch and see and smell rather than a faceless girl or who knows even a boy on net.”
This is the public response but the statistics tell a different story. According to the BBC World Service global opinion poll 2010, 59 per cent of Internet users in India consider that internet is a good place to look for a match.
After these types of responses, it seemed that people are totally against online dating. But on probing some more many of them accepted that they were willing to give it a try but the twist in the tale was they were not ready to accept it in public due to the shame they feel.
First of all, just a gentle reminder to all those who think that online dating is cheap; love doesn’t require a place to blossom. It just needs two sincere hearts. The choice is all yours, whether you want to wait for years hoping that your prince charming would someday ring your doorbell and say, “hey princess, I’m the one you’re looking for” or wouldn’t you rather go out and try finding your Mr. /Ms. Perfect.
Secondly, there is a mistaken belief among people that sites that are free are less reliable, well this is totally untrue, for instance dateiitians.com is an online dating portal which is totally secure. It has an elaborate registration process which requires you to give your id-proof and other documents and only then it allows access to the site and what’s more it’s even free. So, you can be sure about its authenticity and reliability.
Next, we Indians need to embrace the change. While many things can go wrong on an online date so can a real date turn out to be a disaster. What are we afraid of, we might not be chatting to a person depicted from the photos, well in reality also people are hardly what they seem, moreover in an online dating you are bound to communicate more and thus understand each other better.
While western countries are whole heartedly embracing the change why are we lying behind in our web of insecurities, doubt and fear. Trust me, whatever has to go wrong can go wrong on a real date as well. If you’re still not sure, just go watch the Hollywood movies, Must love dogs and you’ve got mail which are centered around the concept of online dating and you might be tempted to go in search for your dream girl on the net. But beware make an intelligent choice; go to a site which you trust. You can check out dateiitians.com for sure if you’re willing to give online dating a try.
Earlier people use to travel round the world in search of love, but you are lucky, your love might be just a click away; you don’t need to go to different countries, just go “online”.
[Written by Layak Singh]
“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.”~Anna Louise Strong
It is very critical question to answer that why someone should fall in love with someone. There is a chemistry behind it that why we fall in love with certain people and with other. Some time it happens that that we love may not be the right choice. It also depends on the luck to find a person whom you may love. I would suggest that fall in love is a natural way and does not depends on the external factors but also depend on the voice of heart. It is easy to find a partner but it is more difficult to keep the strong relationship forever.
The question is always in the mind of the people that why she/he doesn’t love me and will I be able to make him/her to love me. The problem is not at the only one side but happens to both side because none of them is sure about the final result that will occur, it may be in support or in negative. If someone is able to know why I am in love with someone, will help in easy feelings of rejection or may be of heartbreak. No one knows when he/she will be in love with someone at what stage and what will be the future. It’s a kind of mystery in the love. It is very hard to decide whether he/she should live to him/her or not. There are some most important factors which determine with whom we fall in love and why. There are variety of neurochemical processes and the external stimuli which influence the situation to fall in love with someone.
Why fall in love and with whom?
Attraction: It influences the person very much because it makes attention towards the person. It may be one side, does not matter but love happen and the person fall in love to the other person. Sometime the front person doesn’t know that someone loves him/her. It is very dangerous situation because of the controversy of each other.
Attitude and Behaviour: This is considered as the foremost factor as it allows the persons to love each other easily. People know that they are very much influenced with attitude and behaviour and make them love. No one knows when love will be in between of them. People generally lost in the goodness of their behavior.
Smell: Some of the people fall in love partly because of their smell to each other. It is kind of cultural preference which enables the possibilities of the romantic relationships. Cultural attractiveness is one of the causes to be fall in love.
Love pheromones: No one knows what’s going in their mind, or heart about the other person, and when they start loving to each other. Pheromones are very invisible, unexpected, unlearned and unsmellable love signals which when enter to the brains no one can think. The heart and brain sensors use touch, smell and hearing
The brain: We fall in love with some person partly because of the brain hormones. Oxytocin and vasopressin are present in case the two people fall in love and maintain long relationship together for a long time. When the question comes to your mind that why someone whom you love does not love you, then use your brain hormones to think about it.
Sometime in case of women they always love to the person who earns lot of money an able to spend on them easily. Also the physical symmetry in both men and women leads to the possibility to fall in love. If you think finding the true love is all about fate, you may want to think twice! The other side of the fall in love is the maintaining the relationship and lots of principal factors are there by which the relationship can be make strong for long time. All of us know about the danger of growing apart, where two people who were inseparable moved in to the situation of losing the affinity. Now they don’t want to see to each other closely, don’t want to make eye to eye, this happens because of the not maintaining the good relationship with each other. The only primary factor for this may be growing together instead of growing apart.
How to make Strong relationship?
We need to focus on some factors combining to make relationship strong for ever. We must be:
Loving and invested:
Invested means to care and caring / loving which will certainly make the relationship strong. All love relationship depends on what you care and love to the person, there must be great deal in caring and loving from starting and it should be continue for forever. All caring should be done to the personal intents, purposes, opposites, and this will result in the good relationship as said love is the opposite of self-interest and because self-interest in caring. So the life should be caring, continue caring, loving and continue loving.
Towards and Sensitive
What you care to the person relates to the disposition of the torwardness. There must be energetically towards the feeling of the person whom you love or care. If the both person are energetically feed, the health and strong relationship will be there. The partners who have successful relationship always nurture to each other. Also if there is no sensitivity then torwardness is like divisive. Strong and healthy relationship always depends on the ability of the sensitiveness to each other. Sensitivity makes them to think what they are in need from each other, and motivates to them for good relationship.
Open Feedback and appreciation
For having a strong and good relationship, it should be alive not static. Relationship is not like an object but it is a process of growth. If the relationship is not growing it means it s being killed. There should be appraisal to each other, feedback to each other what they do or what they should not do, what is good or what is bad. The appreciation and feedback should not be like professionals but it should be caring, loving and from heart to each other.
Help in problem and aware of the things
It is a life where no one is perfect; there may be some bad or good things inside the people. So, it should be understand that there is need to help each other to know problem and resolve together. This increases the closeness to each other. Love need to aware of all flaws that we have. This will smoothly, increase the love to each other and will maintain the long and strong relationship.
Support to other and self- supportive
People’s thought that there should be someone to support them in what they do, may not be always correct. But instead of that the thinking should be such that the person should be able to support himself, it is very essential for maintaining the strong and healthy relationship. Think to the situation where you are not able to help yourself, how can you help to your partner in need.
Thus, it can be said that fall in love is different with the maintaining he relationship. If you find a good partner still if you are unable to maintain the relationship, your relationship will be biter than you expect. For good relationship it is not necessary to fulfil the wish of your partner but also it is needed to care, love, and support to each other at ant difficulty and should enjoy the moment. Therefore, it can be concluded as the maintaining the partner is more difficult than the finding the partner.
Fall in love and maintaining the good relationship somehow is a part of a life string where at each not there are difficulties and happiness. The partners need to think to each other to maintain the relationship for a long term. To fall in love with someone, it is not necessary to forcefully run towards that but it’s a natural process which attracts the person towards you and you towards to the person. There is nothing more important in life than the successful love relationship; it may be we live our live entirely on chance but still there is only one life to live. From the study of neural correlates of the mental situation of the brain, it can be concluded towards the love and relationship that it’s a very complex emotion like love to the humans, it is often depend on the biological characteristics of the human and their natural behavior. There are lot of important factors which dictate the situation of attractiveness and whom to fall in love.
In a movie When Harry Met Sally, sally was weeping and saying that “but why doesn’t he love me?”. Her hear was broken because her good boyfriend married to someone else instead of her. It was like a shock for her. Not only sally is facing that kind of situation but there are many in the world. The romantic love story is a mystery for everyone. So here the problem is also same, sally found good partner but could not maintain the relationship strongly.
Francesco Alberoni, theory explains that as like the political or religious conversion process, falling in love and maintaining the relationship is also a that kind of natural process. When some people go for a life change or start their life new, they fall in love. Falling in love is kind of a nascent state. Where new live is created by combining of the old energy in to new.
At the end, we can say-
“There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.”
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
